


A Year Ago Today

by Lamp23



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Cunnilingus, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Lots of Crying, Smut, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:15:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28163049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lamp23/pseuds/Lamp23
Summary: Willow needed to be alone for just today, there was only one woman she wanted to spend it with. But she couldn't, could she?
Relationships: Tara Maclay/Willow Rosenberg
Kudos: 17





	A Year Ago Today

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Fanfiction.net in 2013 but it's been heavily edited since then because it was not great, improved the pacing, added a lot more character dialogue and made the sex (slightly) less gratuitous.

Buffy had a lot on her mind already, what with the First wreaking havoc on everyone she knew and loved and the impending apocalypse. This wasn't her first apocalypse though, and she doubted it'd be her last. No, the big thing that was on her mind now was her wish. It seems that for reasons unclear 'The Powers That Be' wanted to give her something. Something powerful. A Something with a capital 'S'. A wish. A life-altering wish. The way it was explained to her made it seem so simple. It was one wish. One wish that broke all magical law and made anything possible. No big deal.

Buffy never told anyone how or why she was given this gift. If she even knew the full truth herself. One thing she did know, was that she couldn't handle the responsibility of something this big. However when given an opportunity like this she couldn't just ignore it either. She had spent days considering possibilities, and running ideas past her closest friends. They always did this together.

The idea that struck her quite powerfully, as it often did, was to give Angel his humanity. The problem was, she couldn't settle on a good enough reason to do that. A non-selfish reason. It was hard to choose from any of the things she wanted. Willow knew that Buffy would use her wish to help someone else. Whether it be Angel or the world at large. She just wouldn't feel right using this wish to help herself.

Willow had been discussing this all with her. Though some people were concerned with her even discussing that kind of powerful magic. She would've still been helping her friend with this decision. Just be there for her friend to help her. Instead Willow was on her own, and she was suffering.

* * *

Willow was laying in her bed alone. She had been alone for most of the day, it was the only way she could deal. Getting her emotions together, dealing with them, and most importantly not let her emotions get the better of her was proving difficult. She hadn't even realised what day it was. Nobody had, except Xander.

They had been eating breakfast, a decent stack of pancakes shared between her and some of the other potentials She felt good, a strange optimism considering what they would soon be facing. That was until she spoke with Xander.

He had approached her with a strange expression on his face. Willow hadn’t recognised it at first. After she realised it was pity. He spoke to her in hushed tones while the other potentials chatted among themselves.

"Hey Will.” He said softly.

“Hey Xander, want some pancakes?”

“Nah, I'm good, thanks. How are you?” His voice was oddly quiet in the house that was so loud recently. He then put a hand on top of hers rested on the kitchen counter. She raised an eyebrow at him.

“I'm fine...” She said uncertainly at his odd behaviour. She pulled her hand away pouring syrup on her pancakes as an excuse.

“Good to hear. You seem to be coping well with today" He said, she greeted this with a confused look, turning to give him more of her attention. The other girls were now leaving out the back door to continue training.

"What d'ya mean?" She tried to think what he was on about: The impending apocalypse? Could be, but he was dealing with that just as much as she was. He looked at her with sympathy and knowing, like he suspected she knew exactly what he was on about. But she didn't!

"C'mon Will, you can talk to me about this." Xander said comfortingly and placed his hand back on her hand and squeezed it this time "She meant a lot to you..." his eyes looked wetter than usual, this made Willow worry "... hell, you know that Tara meant a lot too all of us."

Tara. At her name Willow's heart seemed to freeze and shatter in her chest. Tara. The room suddenly felt cold. Tara. It had been a year. She hadn't realised until that second. It suddenly clicked. It had been a whole year since- since she-

"Oh God,..” Xander took a step back sounding even more choked up “...you didn't know.” Xander's voice was shaking and apologetic. He felt guilty for bringing up the sensitive subject. He pulled her in for a hug and she buried her face in his shoulder. She didn't cry, she couldn't, the shock still buried its way through her chest. Xander did however. "I-I'm so sorry Will. I shouldn't have brought it up. God, I'm so stupid!" she pulled back but couldn’t look him in the eyes.

"No, Xander, it's okay... I'm glad you did. Really." She truly was, the idea that she could have forgotten today. Just let it pass as another day, another day where she ate pancakes. Another day when they prepared for the big fight. It just being another day would've been worse than dealing with it.

She glanced out to the garden looking at the potentials in training. One of the girls, Kennedy, saw Willow and smiled. Willow couldn't smile back. She was really pretty and smiled at her a lot. Willow suspected for a while now that Kennedy liked her. She wasn't ready for anything new. Doubted she ever would be. Nobody could replace the hole in her heart left by Tara.

She hugged Xander again to try to stop his apologising and then she excused her self, mumbling something about needing time alone in her room. As she climbed the stairs she felt like she was in a trance, she felt numb. Flashes of memories of Tara's beautiful face and her kind smile flashed through her head. When they first met in the wicca group. When they first held hands to use their magic to fight those voice stealing creeps. Willow remembered all of this but the memories seemed so faint now.

Like a sharp stab, harsher memories of Tara flashed in her mind, blocking the good. Tara on the bench with Glory sticking her fingers into her head while Willow was powerless to stop it. The heart break she felt after Tara left knowing it was all her own stupid fault. Then finally Tara standing there in front of her, a growing red dot on her chest.

As soon as she closed her door she muffled her head with a pillow, screamed and wept. Her body convulsed with the pain. Her chest felt like it was going to rip in half with the grief that suddenly felt so fresh again. She felt the fresh loss of the only woman she'd ever loved.

Time passed. Minutes or hours it was hard to tell. Eventually the agonising sobs turned to hitching crying. She assumed Xander had told everyone what had happened or at least that she wanted to be alone because she hadn't gotten any visitors that day. Willow laid curled into her bed. Their bed. The pillows were damp with tears.

Knowing she couldn’t lay here and wallow forever, she forced herself to sit up. She took a deep shaking breath. As she looked around she saw a piece of paper that had been slid under her door. Drawing in more energy than she thought she had, she stood to get it. Opening it she read:

_"Be strong Will and know we're all here for you – Love Dawn"_

Willow smiled at the note despite herself. Dawn had always connected the most with Tara. They had been like her surrogate parents when Buffy had died so it wasn't surprising. She hoped Dawn was dealing with it better than she was.

Willow put the note in her pocket, feeling some minor degree better for it. She walked over to her wardrobe then and pulled out a slightly crushed cardboard box. It was full of things that belonged to Tara. Things Willow hadn't been able to get rid of. It was mostly clothes but it also had some trinkets and some magical objects, each thing she held brought back more memories. Each now made bittersweet by Tara's passing. Willow tried to smell the clothing to try and feel connected to her deceased love, but all she could smell was dust.

Willow brought out a translucent white crystal ball. The ball, she remembered Tara telling her, was meant to promote a healing energy; not a physical healing but a spiritual healing. It was just what she needed right now, although she doubted it would work very well.

She made her way back to her bed to meditate with the crystal but she was stopped by an upbeat rhythmic tapping on the door. Did someone not get the 'Do Not Disturb' message? She didn’t want to deal with anyone right now. She would just have to tell them to go away. She opened the door to dismiss whoever it was but was caught by surprise by a smiling cheery Buffy.

"Hey Will! Whatcha' doin'?" Buffy seemed very upbeat, maybe nobody told her why Willow was in her room alone.

"Oh y'know, thinking about stuff." She tried to sound somewhat positive but in her state, even holding the crystal, she sounded gloomy. Buffy then took on a slightly more serious tone, however still seeming too positive for Willow.

"Yeah Xander told me this morning, but I've got some good news for you" So Buffy did know she was grieving, guess this was her way to try and cheer her up. Something felt off.

"What is it?"

"I made my wish" Buffy smiled and had a glint in her eyes. Even in her current mood Willow’s curiosity got the best of her and she perked up slightly. This wish would bring good news. She hoped.

"What was it for then? Did you make Angel human again?" Willow thought that this was what Buffy wanted most. So she was surprised when she shook her head.

"No. I told him my idea and he said 'he needed to be a Vampire to do what he does' or something like that" Buffy said using air quotes and imitating Angel’s sombre voice. She smiled at Willow but gave no further comment.

"What did you wish for then?" Willow felt tired again suddenly, was now torn between curiosity and the need to be alone.

"D'ya like my new boots?" Buffy abruptly said lifting her feet to show them off. Willow was thrown by this. Had Buffy wasted her wish on footwear? She looked at the boots and they seemed fine, nothing special about them. No magical qualities that Willow could feel.

"You wished for new boots?" Willow questioned, her confusion evident.

"No, silly." Buffy said almost laughing. “Come downstairs with me. I gotta show you.” she said turning and waving Willow to follow.

“Buff, I really don’t want to.” Willow said dreading the idea of taking even a step outside the comfort of her room. “I’m a mess, I don’t want everyone seeing me like this.”

“I sent everyone out patrolling.” Buffy said with a sympathetic glint in her eye. “I’m gonna join them soon and we won’t be back for a while.” Willow still looked at her pleading. Her eyes must’ve been puffy and still red with tears. Surely it was clear she wasn’t in the mood for whatever this was. Buffy didn’t budge though, so Willow had to give in. The sooner this was done the sooner she could get back to her misery in peace.

Buffy led them down stairs which creaked extra loud in the suddenly quiet house. It hadn’t been nearly this quiet in weeks. The peace was nice at least. Willow was so lost in thought she followed Buffy without even looking for whatever she’d wished for. Didn’t even know what to expect. A weapon, a magical artefact?

When they reached the bottom of the stairs and turned to the living room Willow felt the world jolt beneath her. Her mind faltered. The air grew heavy in her lungs. Time moved slowly, feeling like she was underwater. Her sense were suddenly acute as she took in the figure standing in the living room.

The open curtains behind the sofa let in beams of late afternoon golden sunlight. The woman standing facing away from them, long silky hazel-blonde hair flowing down her back. Long legs that led to a foot bouncing nervously. Willow didn’t need her to turn to recognise her. How many nights had she fallen asleep holding that back. How many nights had she nuzzled into that hair.

She did turn though and it felt like being hit by a truck. Her blue eyes shining with life and energy, her pouty lips curled into the crooked smile that Willow used to love so much. Her vision suddenly blurred as uncontrolled tears spilled down her cheeks.

Buffy quickly caught the crystal ball that dropped from Willows grasp. Willow's mouth was gaping as she stepped forward. Moving into the living room, close to her. Tentatively she stretched out a hand to touch her cheek. When she felt the solidness of her she finally found her voice, although it was very shaky and full of emotion.

"T-Tara?" She said shakily, the tears burned her eyes, Tara pressed her cheek into Willows hand. Her eyes were brimming with tears too.

"Hey Willow tree" She smiled widely at her. Willow began to make strange sounds that were a combination of hysterical laughter and crying. She was smiling insanely and tears poured down her cheeks.

She lunged forward wrapping her arms around Tara's neck and held onto her so tight, Tara held her back, real and solid. Willow could smell her again, the familiar smell that had no comparison with anything and could only be Tara. She felt her body warm and firm against herself. She had missed this intimacy so much. So much more than she could even realise until this moment.

"Is this really happening?" Willow’s words were almost lost with her face buried in Tara's neck.

"It is, I'm really here and I'm staying" Tara moved her face around to capture Willow's lips. The kiss was wet and full of passion but the same as before, the same perfect soft lips. The familiar but almost forgotten feeling made Willow fall to her knees bringing Tara down with her. Willow had begun to cry hard and broke the kiss apart resting her forehead on Tara's.

"I-I-I'm so s-sorry I let you- It was my fault- I should- I should have protec-"

"N- N- No! W- Willow what happened to me. Was NOT your fault, I will not have you blaming yourself Will." Tara held Willow's face in her hand as she spoke these words looking her right in the eyes. Willow smiled with relief through a fresh stream of tears.

It was then that Willow spotted Buffy trying to pass by without disturbing them. She was passed Tara and out the room when Willow stood up lunged forward and hugged Buffy from behind.

"Thank you so much, I-I can never repay you for bringing her b-back to me." Willow said through her tears. Buffy turned around and Willow saw that her face too was wet with tears and with a big goofy grin. Buffy took Willows hands into her own.

"All I ask Will, is that you be happy." Buffy glanced at Tara who was getting up off the floor "Be happy together." Willow smiled and hugged Buffy again.

Buffy pulled back and was about to leave when she said "Oh and Will, nobody else knows yet. Tell them when you’re both ready. You won’t be disturbed tonight either, I'll make sure of it." She smiled squeezing Willow into a hug once more. Willow couldn’t find the words to express her gratitude so she hoped her bone breaking embrace would suffice for now. After the extended hug Buffy left the house looking back at the two witches with her eyes still glistening.

Willow turned back to look at Tara leaning against the wall. Her heart caught in her chest again seeing her. Taking a shaky breath she tried to hold back more tears. Tara smiled, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. Willow stepped close to Tara again. Her hand reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

Part of her was still in disbelief of this situation, surely this was some cruel dream or a demon playing tricks. Looking in Tara’s eyes though. Seeing the life and warmth that she thought had gone forever. She knew in her heart it was real. That Tara was real. She was back.

Tara nodded upstairs and Willow nodded and smiled. Their hands fell side by side and Tara locked her fingers into Willow’s. It felt almost overwhelming. They silently walked up the stairs. Entered her room once again. Their room.. Willow pulled Tara in and kissed her lips softly before kicking the door closed.

* * *

The kiss felt wonderful. It felt unreal. She felt the same, tasted the same. How was this possible. Willow wanted this to last forever. Just this moment, forever. Reunited with her love who she thought she had lost forever. No more monsters, no more big bad’s. No need to explain the dark pit Willow had fell into. The horror’s she had done and tried to do. Just this kiss. Then a simple boring life running the magic shop with Tara. That’s all she wanted. Unfortunately that was pure fantasy. They would have to face the real world eventually.

Tara broke apart the kiss, smiling at Willow broadly. Her thumbs brushed the tears streaking Willow’s cheeks. Pulling willow by her hands they moved wordlessly to the bed. They laid on top of the bed together. Willow curled up and buried her face into Tara’s chest. Feeling her warmth and hearing her heartbeat. Willow was sobbing again. The feeling of her heart wanting to burst from her chest felt physically painful. They remained that way for a while. In silence. Tara stroked Willows hair soft and gentle.

Taking a few deep breaths Willow was able to calm herself slightly. She occasionally looked up to stare hungrily at every detail of Tara's face. Every tiny thing she thought she'd never see again.

Willow's hand rose to cup Tara's cheek. She could feel her brimming with life. Energy that danced and flowed like a twisting river. In her mind in a flash she saw Tara, dead on the floor of this very bedroom. She had stopped moving so suddenly. It was all over in a second. She was so cold. Willow wrenched herself from these memories. Trying to focus on the present.

Once Willow was sure she could speak without her voice breaking, they spoke.

“Tara?” She started gently, her voice sounding so timid.

“Hmm? What is it Will?” Tara asked looking down.

“How much do you know? A-about what happened… What happened after… after you-” She couldn't say it. She could barely think the words. Thankfully Tara saved her from having to.

“I know bits. Buffy gave me a brief summery as we drove back here.”

“Oh.” Was all that Willow could respond with.

“She didn’t say much, only told me things got bad for you for a while. Said she’d let you tell me the rest, when you’re ready.”

“Oh, okay.” Willow paused gathering her thoughts and courage. “Well things did get bad, really bad...” and she told her everything. What she remembered and what people told her about. She didn’t skip over any of it. She told her what she did to Warren or what she attempted after. Then about her recovery in England and her return to Sunnydale, that part of the story was easier to talk about. As she told her story, Tara just watched her face hard to read. Her eyes did widen in shock a few times but not nearly as much as they should have. Willow was grateful to Buffy for warning Tara at least. She still half expected her to pull away in fear or disgust. But she didn’t. Tara held her in her arms and listened intently, until Willow trailed off as they reached the present. There was about a minute of silence as Tara looked pensive.

“I can’t imagine what you went through. How it felt. I won’t pretend that what you did doesn’t shock me, but I think I understand. You were at a very fragile moment, then the worst possible thing happened and... it broke you. It would’ve broke me too.”

“Bet you wouldn’t've tried to do an apocalypse.” Willow muttered. Tara laughed, the sound was musical and healing. The tension that Willow had been feeling started to melt like ice on a hot day.

“Maybe not but maybe I would have, but if I had, I don’t know if I would've been able to pull myself out of it... and recover, as well as you have. You are so strong Willow.”

“Strong like an amazon?” Willow said, the phrase rolling off her tongue on reflex. Tara smiled warmly.

“Strong like an amazon.” She affirmed, leaning in and pressing her lips to Willow's. Fresh tears rolled down both their cheeks as they kissed. There was a warmth to this kiss that the others hadn’t had. The heat that Willow had long considered forever extinguished in her heart. She wanted Tara. Needed more than just kissing. Her mind went foggy as she felt Tara’s tongue softly at her lips. She wanted it so badly her body ached. But she couldn't, not yet.

Willow had been needing to ask something. It was something that had been bothering her ever since she saw Tara. She was afraid what Tara might say, but she had to know. Panting she gathered strength and pulled away from the kiss. She shook her head to regain focus. The look in Tara’s eye told her that they were both desperate for this to continue. Before that Willow had to know.

"Wait... Tara... There’s something… Something I've been wanting to ask you." She paused and gathered her words, she pressed her forehead to Tara’s. Eyes darting away. Allowing this small touch to be enough for now. "Where… Where did you- I mean, what was it like for you-"

"...was I in Heaven? Like Buffy?" Tara finished Willows question for her. Willow just nodded as a dark hand gripped her heart. "Truth is... I don't remember. The last thing I remember was you and me in this room..." Tara grasped Willow's hand and guided it to her chest, where the bullet had gone. Right over her heart. Willow caught her breath at this "...T-Then I was waking up in my coffin, n-not the most normal experience. I knew a lot of time had past. I felt like I’d been asleep for a very long time. It was quite disorientating. But Buffy was there. She explained everything to me and brought me to you." Willow smiled, more tension was drawn from her body. The grip on her heart loosened. Tara wasn't suffering. Like Buffy had been when they brought her back.

Before they could get back to being more intimate, they heard noise from downstairs. Neither of them had realised how late it was until they heard the ruckus caused by the returning potentials and the rest of the gang. As much as she didn’t want to leave Tara’s arms, Willow stood from the bed. Went to her door and locked it. Then turned to face the bed.

"We can deal with them tomorrow." Willow said with a wide smile. She crawled back onto the bed, this time she got on top of Tara, hovering her body over Tara who smiled back up at her with a knowing grin. Willow's heart felt like it would burst any second now from the emotional overflow of this evening. Willow leant down and kissed Tara’s lips, then her neck, then up to her ear. "You have no idea how much I've missed you" Willow whispered voice dripping with need.

"Show me" Tara whispered back huskily. And Willow did just that.

Willow tugged on Tara’s top and they both worked to pull it off. Then Tara removed her bra and Willow hungrily took in the sight of her perfect breasts. Willow wetted her lips, knowing how it felt to take those soft nipples into her mouth. Knowing how hard to suck and the noise Tara would make. Tara chuckled as she watched Willow devour her with her eyes. When their eyes met Tara bit her lip and it was all just too much. A hand on her cheek Willow pressed in and kissed Tara hard. She pulled back, they both looked deeply into each others eyes.

"You are my forever" Willow whispered softly.

"And you are mine" Tara whispered back.

Willow needed her.

She went straight in then, kissing at Tara’s collar, delighting at the soft moan this caused. As she kissed, Willow’s hands went to knead Tara’s breasts. Cupping and squeezing gently at first before pinching her nipples. Tara gasped and Willow grinned. She moved, trailing kisses quickly down to her breasts. She sucked one of Tara’s nipples into her mouth. Her tongue rolled over the buds eagerly. Tara’s hands stroked through Willow's hair, gently encouraging. Willow suddenly latched on and sucked hard. Tara let out a quick squeal of pleasure before she was able to cover her mouth. She looked down at Willow who looked back up mischievously, nipple still in her mouth. Tara took her hand away from her mouth.

"Keep doing that and someone’s going to hear us" She breathed out, catching her breath. Willow gave Tara’s nipple one last suck and delighted in the way her eyes fluttered.

"I don't care" Willow answered honestly. She then hooked her fingers into Tara’s skirt and panties, pulling them off. To Willow's surprise, Tara kept her legs tightly closed, her cheeks flushed as she looked somewhat bashful. Her hands down to cover her pubic area as best she could.

Willow was suddenly reminded of the beginning of their relationship. They were both new to the whole sapphic thing. Willow was impatient to get started on the physical part of their relationship, had been wanting it for months before she admitted how she felt. Tara though had been very nervous. Self conscious about her body and beauty. She froze like a deer in headlights the first few times. Took Willow a while to help give Tara some confidence in herself. Once she had it was phenomenal. Tara even ended up teaching her a few things. Which was why it was so surprising to see Tara looking so anxious again. Willow placed a hand gently on Tara’s thigh.

“You okay, sweety?” Willow asked.

“Y- yeah, sorry. It’s just- It’s stupid.” Tara muttered.

“Please.” Willow said gently squeezing Tara’s thigh.

“It’s-” Tara started and stopped. Quickly gathering her thoughts. “I know you went through a lot in the last year. I just- Was there really no one else? Not even a rebound fling? I w-w-wouldn’t blame you I-” Tara was cut off by Willow's burst of laughter.

“That’s what got you like this? You silly goose.” Willow moved on top of Tara’s naked body so they were face to face. “Tara Maclay. You are the only woman I’ve ever loved. I have not been with another woman. I may have eventually found it in me to move on, but no woman could come close to comparing to you. I love you. That never changed.” Willow leaned in and kissed Tara’s cheeks and tasted the salt from the tears.

“Sorry.” Tara said embarrassed brushing tears with her knuckles. Willow brushed s a tear away with her thumb.

“C’mon, we’ve both done enough crying for one day.” Willow smirked and started to undress herfelf. Tara watched with eye’s glittering with something other than tears. Willow knew from Tara’s perspective it had been barely a day since the last time they’d had sex. Which was weird for Willow to get her head around.

Willow turned her back to Tara when her top was off, letting her take off her bra. Tara sat up, unclasped it and ran her hands over Willow's shoulders to slip off the straps.

Her hands lingered once the bra had fallen away, she cupped Willow's breasts from behind, kissing her neck. Willow leaned into the affection. She hadn’t realised until now how touch starved she was. How much she had missed this intimacy. She fell into it like a warm bed after a very very long exhausting day. Tara’s soft hands squeezed her just right and her whole body was getting so hot with need. She knew what she needed.

She pulled away from Tara’s touch and span around, pushing Tara to the bed. Pinning her wrists with her hands she leaned in and kissed ferociously. She looked into Tara’s eyes and knew they were both on the same page now. Willow moved down and placed her hands on Tara’s knees. She spread them for her with enthusiasm. Though she was desperate, she couldn't help but tease Tara just a little longer. Her tongue made an agonisingly slow trail from Tara’s knee up her inner thigh, getting achingly close to her core but not close enough. Willow finally relented when she heard Tara whimper.

“Please Will.” With that, Willow dove in. Her mouth tasted the wet folds of her lover. The intoxicating rush of it was almost overwhelming. She lapped hungrily and the sweet taste of Tara. A taste sweeter than ambrosia. A taste that she thought she’d never experience again. She smiled inwardly as Tara bucked into her as she licked the sensitive spots she knew so well on Tara’s body.

Willow looked up and was delighted to see Tara biting into her fist to hold back moaning. She pushed two fingers into Tara which drew out a long whimper. Part of Willow wanted to make her scream. Rattle the windows with their passion. She didn’t care if everyone in the house heard. If everyone left in Sunnydale heard. But she was just clear headed enough to know that wasn’t the best idea. It would just embarrass them both in the end and spoil their first night back together. She was just so drunk on Tara.

Her fingers pressed and stroked inside of Tara as her tongue licked and sucked her sensitive areas. She felt her getting close. Breathing getting more rapid, moans less and less held back. Willow then went for the kill, sucking on Tara’s sensitive clit as her fingers rapidly moved inside. Suddenly Tara grabbed a cushion and smothered her face with it. Her screams were muffled pretty well but not completely. Willow felt Tara’s walls contract as her orgasm came wave after wave. Willow pulled out and watched captivated as Tara came down from her high.

When the pillow was finally removed from her face, Willow smiled down at the sweaty panting beauty below her. Willow breathlessly spoke.

“Did you… Enjoy tha-” But before she could finish her remark, Tara pulled her by the neck and kissed her. As she kissed, her fingers fumbled clumsily to unbutton Willow’s pants which Willow was surprised to see she was still wearing. Tara with Willow's help managed to open them but Tara was so impatient to get started the pants and panties only got to Willow’s knees.

Tara pulled away from kissing Willow only to replace her tongue with her two middle fingers of her right hand. She pushed them into her mouth and Willow dutifully licked them and coated them with her spit. Without being told Willow lay down and Tara to her side slipped the spit covered fingers between her legs. When Tara had caressed her breasts, she thought she understood how much she’d missed her touch. However having her hand between her legs put that feeling to shame. Willow nearly cried out as Tara’s fingers began circling.

They looked into each others eyes. Willow hoped her look could express how much her touch meant, how much it was effecting her, because no words she knew could describe it. The way Tara looked at her made her believe she understood, somehow.

“Thought you said no more crying.” Tara said kissing a tear from Willow's face. She hadn’t realised she was crying. She wasn’t surprised.

“I love you.” The words felt inadequate. It was the best she could do though.

“I love you too.” Tara whispered softly and closed the gap between them. The kiss was quickly followed by Tara sinking her fingers inside Willow. Her body shook and she moaned into Tara’s mouth. Willow was so keyed up her body so intently desperate for this release that she was nearly sent over the edge just from that alone. She tried to postpone her orgasm, make this last as long as possible. Tara had other plans though. Her fingers pumped in and out of Willow way too fast and with way too much precision. Along with their tongues swirling around each other, meant it took less than two minutes for Willow to start seeing spots in her vision.

The pleasure had started between her legs but by the end her whole body felt as sensitive as that one spot. Her orgasm burst through her more intense than she’d felt in a long time. Her legs stiffened and then shook. She tried to stop from crying out but she wasn’t sure if she’d accomplished it. She rode the waves of pleasure for longer than it took to get her there. All the while Tara held her, fingers brushing through her hair. A sensation that almost beat out the orgasm. Almost. When she finally was able to think clear again she curled into Tara’s arms.

“So I haven’t lost my touch?” Tara said and they both instantly burst into quiet restrained laughter. Willow pecked Tara’s cheek, something so simple and mundane but it still sent shivers through her body.

Willow sat up and kicked off her pants, throwing them off the bed. She then climbed under the covers with Tara. Willow found one of Tara’s hands under the sheet and laced their fingers together. She brought up Tara’s hand and kissed the back of it.

They lay in bed, facing each other, looking into each others eyes. Willow suddenly then felt the utter exhaustion of the days events. Hard to believe it had all just been one day. She needed to sleep and recover from the emotional ups and downs. Her eyes were heavy. She fought as they started to droop. Opening her eyes wide, only for them to fall back closed to Tara’s amusement.

The last thing she saw was Tara’s beautiful face, her eyes so wide and alive. As Willow was drifting to sleep she felt a sudden jolt of fear. Certain that this was all a dream. That when she woke up, Tara would be gone again. She would be alone. Her fingers reflexively squeezed Tara’s hand. Tara squeezed back. Willow took a deep breath, a breath that she hadn’t been able to take in a year, and fell peacefully to sleep.


End file.
